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You know, as a kid, I really do remember having these dreams, visions, desires, and wishes. But you just don't know what is going to come for you. You don't know what's in your world or what's going to come into your world. And I think a lot of times we are built to doubt the possibilities for ourselves. So, for self-preservation and protection, we say, "I mean, it's probably not going to be that way for me."

As a kid growing up, I think some of my fears really circulated around... I remember I felt fearful that I had to protect myself from being hurt by people I loved. I remember that was a thing, and I had to figure my way through that. There was a sense of lack that I was worried about. I was worried about not having enough money, not being able to hold on to what you started to get, or things like that. I had to do a lot of work around that. That was a big one, because you really can perpetuate that cycle simply by the fact that you believe it can happen.

It's scary to dream, but does that mean I'm not going to dream it or try it? No. I have to.

What I mean, and why it relates, is—I felt like I grew up in New York City. Everybody's a hustler. You've got to go fast, you've got to make it happen, you've got to stay up all night and get up at the crack of dawn. And it's not going to happen if you don't. I realized, as hard as I try to push the thing forward—when it's time, it's time. And if it's not time, it doesn't matter what I do. It doesn't matter how much sleep I don't get—it's not going to be time until it's time. So I think that steadiness of just putting one foot in front of the other is just as simple as that.

I remember I was running with my friend who trained with me and helped me, and he said, "You see that pole? You're going to get to that pole. You see that light after the pole? You're going to get to that light. You see that tree after the light? You're going to get to that tree." It was literally that—step by step. And I discovered that is how we get where we're going: these increments of small, determined moments.

My second affirmation is: I forgive myself. It's okay. Have grace with yourself. You're trying your best. It's not like you're messing around and doing whatever—you’re really trying your best. You're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing. Have some grace. It's okay. It's really okay. You want the best—for yourself, for your family, the best outcome. And it all comes from a good place. But I think sometimes we can beat ourselves up so badly about things. We can just give ourselves a little bit of a break, and we can start again and try again. It's okay.

I don't over-obsess, and I don't—I'm not overly mean to myself. But I did think about that the other day. I did this—I didn't put it up yet—but I did this thing. I do these things called Piece of Peace, and I called this one Speak to Me Nice. Because you're not going to let someone else talk to you just any type of way. You're like, "Excuse me, how did you just...?" You just—"Speak to me nice." But you yourself will speak to yourself in these crazy ways. And so I was reflecting on telling myself, "Speak to me nice." Like, talk to me with kindness and love. I learned that from my son a lot, because my youngest—he's a little tough on himself. I'm like, "Hey, speak to yourself nice." And so I think that is something I've learned how to embody. I really try not to spin out too much. But, you know, there are times, of course—you just... you know. But I'm like, this is really doing no good.

When I sit with people, they'll find that their inherited choice is to naturally stay busy, work a lot, create drama in their relationship—whatever it is—because we're more used to it. Not because we're bad people or because we're wrong, but because it feels familiar. I'll give you the opposite example: I have lots of friends who'll be like, "Oh, I'm dating this guy and it's really peaceful—I'm bored." So there's that, right? Where people actually have peace and stillness and connection, we're like, "Yeah, yeah, there's nothing to talk about." So I don't think it's something people do on purpose, and I don't think it's something people even do consciously. But I think we do like to stay busy and stressed to some degree.

But if I don’t make sure I’m good, how can I make sure anybody is good—ever? Spending time with myself—I fought against it so much, but when I started to do it, I realized I was more powerful than I’d ever been. I was faster, I was able to do things quicker and more efficiently, because I wasn’t so cloudy.

If there’s something that you love, go after it, because it’s meant for you. It might not be the way that you thought it was going to be, or the length of time you thought it was going to take, or whatever all the other things are—but man, I know it’s meant for you if you love it.

Ever since the day our vows were about this idea of loving with an open hand—there’s a beautiful thought of loving with an open hand. Everyone should be free to fly as they want to fly. It should never be a closed hand around someone. I really like that. It should be this open hand. We really always looked at it like that. He’ll always say, "She’s her own boss. I don’t have anything to do with whatever she’s choosing. Don’t call me and ask me to try to get her—I can’t. She’s her own boss." So talk to her about whatever that might be. And so there’s always been that respect—that we each have our own way of flowing. And it works.

In fact, one of my albums, Keys, has a song on it called "Is It Insane." And Keys came out in like 2023, and "Is It Insane" was written in like 2000. But it was not ready until that moment. And then it was ready. So back to that whole thing—nothing’s ever ready when you think it’s time. And then finally you’re like, "Oh, it’s time. I get it."

"Why am I attracted to this thing?" You need it—because you need it. Exactly. And I think we’ve lost the ability to trust ourselves on what we need, because everything becomes didactic and tactical and kind of too formulated.

So inspiring and enlightening and empowering to really see that when everybody is the best at their field, you really can create something that truly is magical.

What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?
Nothing before its time.

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